Why Al-Albaani almost felt like wishing for death …
by The Albaani Site
As-Sadhaan said, quoting from Saheeh Mawaarid adh-Dham’aan, “And he, may Allaah have mercy on him, said concerning the hadith, “The life spans of my Ummah are between sixty and seventy. Few of them pass that,” Ibn Arafah said, “And I am from those few.”
So Shaikh al-Albaani said commenting on the saying of Ibn Arafah, “And I too am from those few. For I have passed eighty-four years in age, all the while asking the Protector [mawlaa], far removed be He from all defects, that I be from those whose lives are prolonged and whose actions get better.
And yet along with that I almost wish for death due to the deviation from the religion that has afflicted the Muslims.
But far be it that I wish for death when the hadith of Anas has been before me since childhood, so it is not for me but to say as my Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) ordered me to, “O Allaah, give me life as long as life is better for me. And take my soul if death is better for me,’” [also] supplicating with that which he (صلى الله عليه وسلم) taught me, “O Allaah! Let us enjoy our hearing and vision and strength for as long as You grant us life and make it our legacy.”
And He, the One free of all defects, has favoured me and responded, allowing me to enjoy all of that. So here I am still researching and verifying, still writing actively the like of which is rarely seen, and I pray the optional prayers standing, and I drive my car for long distances by myself, and at a speed which some of those dear to me advise me to reduce, and I have an elaboration for that which some of them know!
And I say all of this by way of, “And as for the favour of your Lord, then proclaim [it] …” [Ad-Duhaa 93:11], hoping that the Protector, free is He from all defects and the Most High, increases the Bounty He has bestowed upon me, and that He makes all of it my legacy. And that He takes my soul as a Muslim upon the Sunnah which I dedicated my life to, calling to it and writing about it. And that He gathers me with the martyrs and the righteous, and what an excellent company that is. Indeed He is the All-Hearer, the One who answers supplications.””
Al-Imaam al-Albaani, Duroos, wa Mawaaqif, wa Ibar, of Abdul-Aziz ibn Muhammad Abdullaah as-Sadhaan, pp. 286-287.